today, i feel so nostalgic, every scene in the past is being depicted in my memory so clearly...

i can so vividly recall how it all happened,,, how we shared one umbrella under the drizzles and how he embraced me so tightly when the wind chilled us both...it is killing me so much that until now, even when it has been a year that passed already i still feel the same. it is still his face that i long to see everytime i am in sea of people, it is his scent that i still smell every time i enter my room, his voice that i here telling me to stop crying every time i do,his hugs and kisses when i wanted comfort.

i just read his first and last email to me earlier before i did this post,.
after that email, i heard nothing from him anymore. i hate myself for being too weak and not being able to move on and let him go when i really don't have anything to hold on to anymore...my heart is so clobbered with feelings and emotions that really make me upset about the situation and myself...

i keep on hoping that someday, somehow he will be back.
he will be mine again even just for another 15 days
and that it will only be me whom he will think of, care for, and love...

i wish i was never scared then.
i wish i let the rain on my skin.